“Born This Way” and the Hauntology of Gender & Sexuality

The persistance of the “Born this way” idea reveals a lot about our (cisheterosexualist) culture and subjectivity

Jaqcues Derrida (1930 - 2004) edited with a trans pride flag

The “Born this way” idea remains fairly popular among many queer people. One reason why it seems so appealing to many is because it offers an easy way to justify the existence of queer people in a way that doesn’t upset cisheteronormativity, institutions and established identities too much.

The logic essentially runs down to “Oh we are just born queer, it’s not our fault, you can’t judge us for it. Just let us exist, we can’t and won’t make more people queer if you include us into your social structures, don’t worry.”

Many more radical-minded queer people and queer activists have challenged the “Born this way” narrative from many perspectives: From the perspective that it denies any fluidity and agency, that it undermines more radical politics to challenge the cisheteronormative gender system, that it comes from a place of queerness having to justify its existence, that it naturalizes historically relative and constructed gender and sexual categories (and therefore cisheterosexist structures as such), that it has insufficient scientific backing etc.

Another reason why the “Born this way” narrative is intuitively very appealing to us is the deeply hauntological nature of gender and sexuality. In order to make sense of this, we need to cover a few things.

Hauntology

Hauntology is a term that was coined by the philosopher Jaqcues Derrida. It relates to “Ontology”, which is a field concerned with matters of being on a fundamental level of existence.

Essential to the term is the idea that our being is “haunted”. The present is haunted as much by the past and future as the past and future are haunted by the present. The past and future are neither fully present nor absent. Like ghosts that are in between existence and non-existence — not part of the living world, yet also not truly gone.

The term hauntology is itself already hauntological, as it sounds exactly like ontology when spoken, yet it has different letters that are only present when written.

Essential to my concept of the hauntology of gender & sexuality in particular is that the present influences and haunts the past as much as the past influences and haunts the present.

There are two key aspects as to why gender & sexuality become hauntological.

1. Liberal individualism & the idea of a “true self”

In our liberal and westernized cultures, the idea of an individual self-existing self with its own internal desires, thoughts and nature dominates our cultural imagination. This individualistic view frames the self as distinct and separate from its environment, and ascribes it a sort of “true nature” that exists independently from all external conditions and influences.

This individualistic idea of a true self manifests itself in how our liberal westernized culture tends to understand gender identity and sexuality. Contrary to many other cultures in history, we view sexuality and gender identity as individual, acultural, rigid, inner biological truths or essences that one simply has and that may or may not stand in conflict with external cultural norms.

It’s because of this that when a person starts to identify as queer in some way, we are inclined to see it as a matter of their “true self” finally coming to the surface. Someone who starts identifying as gay comes to be seen as someone who really has been gay all along already, it’s just that the heteronormative nature of society has prevented them from realizing that until now.

Many queer people internalize this cultural narrative and therefore tend to understand their own experiences through the lens of a “true inherent self”

The absurdity of the true self narrative reveals itself quite vibrantly when a person goes through multiple changes in the way they desire and identify. Take for example a person that starts to identify as gay. That person is happy that they finally found their true self and that they can finally live authentically.

People around them then further reinforce this by saying how happy they are that this person finally found out who they really are.

Years later, that person starts to identify as bisexual. And once again they are happy that they can finally be their true self. People around them once again further that sentiment.

Then a few years pass again and they start to identify as trans. The same thought process repeats itself again and the people around them express the same sentiments again.

It just seems absurd to keep talking about how they have “finally found their true self” at this point, doesn’t it?

2. The malleability of memory & subjectivity

Many people know that memories are not “objective” recordings of past events. They are thoroughly shaped by our emotional states, experiences, beliefs, impressions and bodily conditions — because our perception itself is already shaped by all of these things.

Plenty of psychological studies and research show just how easily memories are altered not only because of traumatic experiences, but even because of more mundane everyday experiences. We can even have completely artificial memories that never actually happened, yet feel completely real for us.

It is because of this malleability based on present experiences and conditions that memories often say more about the present than the past they are supposed to be a representation of.

This shows itself particulary well once a person starts to identify as queer in some way. Even if people lived the most conventional cisheterosexual life until recently, the moment they identify as queer, they often start to have altered memories of their life that show that they really have “always been queer”

Their present identity and subjecticity as a queer person completely reframes their past life and give it a new narrative that was not there prior to their identification with queerness. Identifying as queer is a thoroughly transformative process that radically changes your perception of the life you lived until that point.

This is obviously not a conscious process. People don’t just decide to see signs they never saw before. They don’t decide to have memories that they did not previously have — to them it feels completely real.

A hauntological synthesis

The intersection of these two aspects constitutes the hauntological nature of gender and sexuality. We are constantly bombarded with messages about a true inner self, and our memories are representations of the past that are thoroughly shaped by the present.

It is thereby almost inevitable that our queerness would appear to many of us as something that was really always aready there, something that has been part of us since we were born and that was only buried beneath layers of social norms and expectations.

And so the hauntology of gender and sexuality has taken control over our minds and the way we navigate ourselves and the world at large. It has rendered many of us unable to conceive of gender and sexuality beyond bioessentialist frameworks that reduce them to something that’s written into our bodies since the moment we were born.

Why does this matter?

The born this way narrative remains pretty popular as a way for both queer and non-queer people to make sense of the existence and experiences of queer people. Many queer people in particular also have strong sentimental attachments to it because they see the born this way narrative as essential to secure their rights and well-being.

But in truth, the born this way narrative actually serves to reinforce the cisheterosexist nature of our society more than anything. It actually deprives us of political power and makes us unable to fundamentally challenge the assumptions of the gender binary and heteronormativity.

The most that “born this way” can do for us is secure us basic rights and basic recognition in the very cisheteronormative society that naturalizes and rationalizes our marginal and subordinated position.

If gender and sexuality are simply a matter of a true innate self, if they are simply irreversibly coded into our body since we came into this world, then, by extension, the cisheteronormative character of our society is simply a natural and fixed truth.

The gender binary and heteronormativity are simply rational and natural ways of organizing society then, and all that we queer people can do is beg that that we are not treated too badly and show gratitude for the most basic recognition of our needs and dignity.

Embracing new queer futures & possibilities

To exorcise the ghosts of the “born this way” narrative that haunt our personal, social and political imagination, would allow us to conceptualize more unapologetic and radical ways to live queerness on a personal, social and political level alike.

Understanding the hauntology of gender and sexuality is a way to help us achieve exactly this. It helps us reveal the assumed stability, universality and naturality of the cisheteronormative gender system as nothing more than a cultural fantasy that is produced and reproduced at the level of our experiences and ways of thinking within that very system.

There’s no need for queer people to justify their existence. They don’t need to give an apology or explanation as to why they dare to disturb the cisheteronormative binary gender system that is actually not natural, universal and unchangeable like certain people often suggest.

Queerness is not a problem that needs to be solved. If anything, the pressure should be on the heteronormative and cissexist culture that marginalizes us, oppresses us, and rationalizes violence towards anyone who dares to live and love beyond its rigid norms and expectations.